What is School Refusal?

School refusal goes beyond the occasional “I don’t want to go to school” most children express. It’s a persistent pattern of anxiety, distress, or avoidance that makes attending school extremely challenging. Unlike truancy, where a child skips school without a parent knowing, school refusal often happens openly, with your child at home but unable to attend.

Why It Might Happen

The reasons are different for every child, but common causes include:

• Anxiety or worry – about lessons, social situations, or being away from home.

• Bullying or friendship struggles – feeling unsafe or excluded.

• Academic pressures – learning difficulties, undiagnosed needs, or fear of failure.

• Life changes – such as family separation, bereavement, or illness.

• Sensory overwhelm – for neurodiverse children, the school environment can feel too noisy, bright, or chaotic.

Why Forcing Attendance Doesn’t Solve It

It’s natural to want your child to push through, but forcing them without addressing the root cause can heighten their distress. This often creates bigger battles, more anxiety, and a breakdown in trust.

How to Support Your Child

With September fast approaching, here are some gentle, practical ways to help:

1. Listen first – Give them space to share what’s worrying them without rushing to fix it immediately.

2. Work with the school early – Speak to teachers or SENCOs before term starts to plan support.

3. Build a routine now – Start adjusting sleep, meals, and activities to prepare for school days.

4. Seek professional help – Counselling can help children process fears and develop coping skills.

5. Take small steps – Even visiting the school playground before term begins can help reduce anxiety.

You’re Not Alone

School refusal is more common than many parents realise, and with the right support, most children can re-engage with learning at a pace that feels safe. If your child is anxious about the return to school, now is the perfect time to seek help so September feels less overwhelming.

At ReWellness Counselling for All, we work with children, young people, and families across Dorset to address the emotional roots of school refusal and build confidence for the future.

Contact us today to find out how we can support your child through the back-to-school transition.